Cetquillnart is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, thoughtless alligator.

Cetquillnart created the Virgo Supercluster six million years ago.

If you believe in Cetquillnart, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Cetquillnart, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Cetquillnart's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Cetquillnart's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Never think ill of sick seals.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.