Cabbatbossyimsadget is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic yak.

Cabbatbossyimsadget created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabbatbossyimsadget, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cabbatbossyimsadget, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Cabbatbossyimsadget's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Cabbatbossyimsadget's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Cabbatbossyimsadget's name in vain.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Always help shrews.