Flanmobbam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced hippopotamus.

Flanmobbam created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flanmobbam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flanmobbam, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flanmobbam's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Flanmobbam's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flanmobbam.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.