Femgetjambestniltonkfonsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, smart fairy.

Femgetjambestniltonkfonsaw created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femgetjambestniltonkfonsaw, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Femgetjambestniltonkfonsaw, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Femgetjambestniltonkfonsaw's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Femgetjambestniltonkfonsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never eat nuts.

5. Do not chant at mountains.