Boghigwan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, narcissistic octopus.

Boghigwan created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Boghigwan, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Boghigwan, she will jump up and down on your head.

Boghigwan's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Boghigwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Run away if seven great tits approach from the west.