Loprownull is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient dryad.

Loprownull created life seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loprownull, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Loprownull, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Loprownull's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Loprownull's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed pineapples to foxes while wearing boots.

2. Loprownull loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always help sick eagles.