Bophomcem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, vain aardvark.

Bophomcem created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bophomcem, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bophomcem, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bophomcem's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bophomcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Feed all hungry foxes.

5. Do not drink water in orange rooms.