Godbomflighenhogfascet Janshavfit is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, stupid newt.

Godbomflighenhogfascet Janshavfit created the Sol system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Godbomflighenhogfascet Janshavfit, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Godbomflighenhogfascet Janshavfit, it will turn you into a plant.

Godbomflighenhogfascet Janshavfit's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Godbomflighenhogfascet Janshavfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Do not covet oxen.