Fosstigzig Gutdusslat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, staggering centipede.

Fosstigzig Gutdusslat created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fosstigzig Gutdusslat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fosstigzig Gutdusslat, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fosstigzig Gutdusslat's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Fosstigzig Gutdusslat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always stare at clouds.