Doncepfab Cussnilgud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, egotistical octopus.

Doncepfab Cussnilgud created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Doncepfab Cussnilgud, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Doncepfab Cussnilgud, it will turn you into a tree.

Doncepfab Cussnilgud's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Doncepfab Cussnilgud's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Feed all hungry dogs.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about dwarf planets.

5. Never hurt tapirs.