Venlogpigshav is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, bad-tempered alligator.

Venlogpigshav created the Sombrero Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Venlogpigshav, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Venlogpigshav, she will turn you into a snail.

Venlogpigshav's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Venlogpigshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never hop near capybaras.