Quartgunnig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, sage fairy.

Quartgunnig created the Sombrero Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Quartgunnig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quartgunnig, she will remove you from existence.

Quartgunnig's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Quartgunnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Always help sick eagles.

5. Never talk about special relativity.