Mapdagab is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, two-faced newt.

Mapdagab created a charm quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapdagab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mapdagab, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Mapdagab's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Mapdagab's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never stain your head with fawn.

3. Mapdagab loves mice, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always stare at clouds.