Bimpinmis is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, bad-tempered crocodile.

Bimpinmis created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimpinmis, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bimpinmis, she will send minions to preach to you.

Bimpinmis' most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bimpinmis' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Bimpinmis in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never hurt gulls.

3. Do not eat turnips.

4. Retreat if seven mites approach from the north.

5. You must love Bimpinmis.