Yartfossmidten is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, astonishing monkey.

Yartfossmidten created the Virgo Supercluster seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartfossmidten, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yartfossmidten, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Yartfossmidten's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Yartfossmidten's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not hurt geese.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never write about black holes.