Cumfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, charitable ant.

Cumfeb created an atom five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumfeb, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cumfeb, he will turn you into a rock.

Cumfeb's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Cumfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never think about gravity near cats while wearing gray tights and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your face.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Cumfeb loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.