Cetbassjonbonfotbess is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, contented walrus.

Cetbassjonbonfotbess created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetbassjonbonfotbess, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cetbassjonbonfotbess, it will turn you into a sheep.

Cetbassjonbonfotbess' most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Cetbassjonbonfotbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume wheat at dawn.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Retreat if eight voles approach from the south.

4. Do not name children after whales.

5. Never talk about galaxies.