Lanzogortvonkfenladlarp is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omniscient monkey.

Lanzogortvonkfenladlarp created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanzogortvonkfenladlarp, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lanzogortvonkfenladlarp, he will turn you into a goat.

Lanzogortvonkfenladlarp's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Lanzogortvonkfenladlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Do not consume lentils at dawn.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not hop in public.