Kabyarptadcimcissmut is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unthinking snake.

Kabyarptadcimcissmut created light three million years ago.

If you believe in Kabyarptadcimcissmut, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kabyarptadcimcissmut, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kabyarptadcimcissmut's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Kabyarptadcimcissmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near turtles while wearing violet trousers.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Kabyarptadcimcissmut loves whales, so they must be respected.

5. Do not hurt ants.