Ortbifgep is a god.

He takes the form of a small, cheerful jaguar.

Ortbifgep created humanity five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortbifgep, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ortbifgep, he will remove you from existence.

Ortbifgep's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Ortbifgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain purity during holy days.

2. Do not speak about strawberries.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Feed all hungry cats.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.