Yammattofsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, stupid jaguar.

Yammattofsaf created the Large Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yammattofsaf, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yammattofsaf, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yammattofsaf's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Yammattofsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

2. Never wear green rings.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Always obey Yammattofsaf's priests.