Fodmigpit is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, selfish mink.

Fodmigpit created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fodmigpit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fodmigpit, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fodmigpit's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fodmigpit's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fodmigpit.

2. Always look after injured voles.

3. Do not eat bananas.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Do not shave your arms.