Sandcubjam is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, fussy parrot.

Sandcubjam created the Sombrero Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandcubjam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sandcubjam, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Sandcubjam's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Sandcubjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from clay.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Do not prepare lemons while filled with envy.

5. Never speak aloud of secrets.