Flapsinwattail is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthinking beaver.

Flapsinwattail created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapsinwattail, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Flapsinwattail, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Flapsinwattail's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Flapsinwattail's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Never allow hamsters to witness sacred rites.

4. Never talk about spacetime near shrews while wearing purple coats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.