Pitdimfig Tangemrutcissnuttcamragzan is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, humorless fly.

Pitdimfig Tangemrutcissnuttcamragzan created the universe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitdimfig Tangemrutcissnuttcamragzan, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Pitdimfig Tangemrutcissnuttcamragzan, he will destroy your favourite star.

Pitdimfig Tangemrutcissnuttcamragzan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Pitdimfig Tangemrutcissnuttcamragzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near manatees while wearing mauve rings and balancing seven gold spheres on your legs.

2. Never feed lots of wheat to grasshopers while wearing brown boots.

3. Never paint your arms indigo.

4. Never bounce in the presence of mice.

5. Never think about comets.