Jintofran is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, emotional goose.

Jintofran created the Black Eye Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jintofran, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jintofran, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Jintofran's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Jintofran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.