Karjanneg Quarttarveg is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, omniscient porpoise.

Karjanneg Quarttarveg created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Karjanneg Quarttarveg, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Karjanneg Quarttarveg, she will have a low opinion of you.

Karjanneg Quarttarveg's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Karjanneg Quarttarveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not shave your feet.