Badbisslan is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unthoughtful chicken.

Badbisslan created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Badbisslan, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Badbisslan, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Badbisslan's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Badbisslan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lemons.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

3. Always obey Badbisslan's priests.

4. Always remove hats before touching tin.

5. Never pour water over plants.