Nakpadham is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, witless gerbil.

Nakpadham created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakpadham, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nakpadham, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Nakpadham's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Nakpadham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never jump in the presence of sheep.

3. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.