Jipcammad Cetstraglun is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, caring centipede.

Jipcammad Cetstraglun created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipcammad Cetstraglun, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jipcammad Cetstraglun, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jipcammad Cetstraglun's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Jipcammad Cetstraglun's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not chop down trees.