Tonmanzan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, thoughtless rhinoceros.

Tonmanzan created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Tonmanzan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tonmanzan, it will make you grow a tail.

Tonmanzan's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tonmanzan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Tonmanzan loves bats, so they must be honoured.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not eat limes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.