Tinkimfutcardablag is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tiresome armadillo.

Tinkimfutcardablag created the Tadpole Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinkimfutcardablag, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tinkimfutcardablag, he will send you a sign.

Tinkimfutcardablag's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Tinkimfutcardablag's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near ducks.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near whales while wearing blue skirts and balancing eight nickel spheres on your arms.

4. Never talk about gravity near rats while wearing pink coats.

5. Never write about dark energy.