Fitrapsidlak is a god.
It takes the form of an extremely heavy, annoying
guinea pig.
Fitrapsidlak created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Fitrapsidlak, it will grant all your wishes.
If you do not believe in
Fitrapsidlak, it will ignore you and hope you go away.
Fitrapsidlak's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.
Fitrapsidlak's Holy Commandments1. Always help sick monkeys.
2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Fitrapsidlak on top of all buildings.
3. Retreat if nine voles approach from the north.
4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.
5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.