Fitrapsidlak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, annoying guinea pig.

Fitrapsidlak created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitrapsidlak, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fitrapsidlak, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fitrapsidlak's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Fitrapsidlak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick monkeys.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Fitrapsidlak on top of all buildings.

3. Retreat if nine voles approach from the north.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.