Stragwabjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, impressive dolphin.

Stragwabjarn created Mount Everest three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragwabjarn, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Stragwabjarn, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Stragwabjarn's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Stragwabjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near frogs while wearing gray corsets and balancing four zinc spheres on your face.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.