Watkarquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, narcissistic wasp.

Watkarquaf created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watkarquaf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Watkarquaf, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Watkarquaf's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Watkarquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Watkarquaf's name in vain.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Watkarquaf.

3. Never write about eukaryotes.

4. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Watkarquaf in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never mention ducks.