Fobmatlam is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, competent crocodile.

Fobmatlam created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Fobmatlam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fobmatlam, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fobmatlam's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Fobmatlam's Holy Commandments

1. Fobmatlam loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near goats while wearing orange boots and balancing eight gold spheres on your arms.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.