Catlogbet Vonwegflis is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, blissful crow.

Catlogbet Vonwegflis created the planet Venus four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catlogbet Vonwegflis, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Catlogbet Vonwegflis, he will turn you into a rock.

Catlogbet Vonwegflis' most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Catlogbet Vonwegflis' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine porpoises approach from the east.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Hide if four badgers approach from the north.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.