Zimcuthog is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unsympathetic lobster.

Zimcuthog created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimcuthog, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zimcuthog, he will not invite you to parties.

Zimcuthog's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Zimcuthog's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about sharks.

3. Worship no other gods but Zimcuthog.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always obey Zimcuthog's priests.