Yastgenstip is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, egotistical lobster.

Yastgenstip created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yastgenstip, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yastgenstip, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Yastgenstip's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Yastgenstip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Never wear cyan skirts.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Yastgenstip on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink alcohol.