Funwodfig is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, proud newt.

Funwodfig created a quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funwodfig, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Funwodfig, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Funwodfig's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Funwodfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never talk about grasshopers.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Never wear coats.