Dimbogflam is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, dishonourable dragon.

Dimbogflam created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimbogflam, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dimbogflam, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Dimbogflam's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Dimbogflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never go into cyan rooms.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.