Pogvogril is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unfair walrus.

Pogvogril created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogvogril, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pogvogril, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pogvogril's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Pogvogril's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Hide if seven nematodes approach from the east.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always treat frogs with great respect.

5. Learn six new languages a year.