Popgampin is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, wise octopus.

Popgampin created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Popgampin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Popgampin, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Popgampin's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Popgampin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not hop in public.