Satjarnged Mig is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, boastful porpoise.

Satjarnged Mig created the Sol system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satjarnged Mig, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Satjarnged Mig, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Satjarnged Mig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Satjarnged Mig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not eat wheat.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Satjarnged Mig.

5. You must pray to Satjarnged Mig five times a day.