Fotkarfarspagkikbastgublop is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unthinking meerkat.

Fotkarfarspagkikbastgublop created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Fotkarfarspagkikbastgublop, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fotkarfarspagkikbastgublop, she will send you a sign.

Fotkarfarspagkikbastgublop's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Fotkarfarspagkikbastgublop's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple nematodes, for they are unholy.

2. Do not keep eight porpoises in a large pit.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near whales while wearing brown trousers and balancing four nickel spheres on your neck.

4. Put Fotkarfarspagkikbastgublop first in all things.

5. Never eat rice.