Kanvanzak Rulljadpog is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, charitable dove.

Kanvanzak Rulljadpog created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kanvanzak Rulljadpog, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kanvanzak Rulljadpog, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kanvanzak Rulljadpog's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Kanvanzak Rulljadpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near sharks while wearing blue hats and balancing six tin spheres on your face.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

5. Never feed lots of pineapples to squirrels while wearing yellow tights.