Dumbaststig Quagyarlflam is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, dishonourable bat.

Dumbaststig Quagyarlflam created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumbaststig Quagyarlflam, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dumbaststig Quagyarlflam, he will jump up and down on your head.

Dumbaststig Quagyarlflam's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Dumbaststig Quagyarlflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Dumbaststig Quagyarlflam's name in vain.

2. Run away from purple gulls, for they are unholy.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Erect a giant red sculpture of Dumbaststig Quagyarlflam in the centre of the settlement.

5. You must love Dumbaststig Quagyarlflam.