Zimlabkap is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, pitiless crocodile.

Zimlabkap created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimlabkap, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zimlabkap, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Zimlabkap's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Zimlabkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to horses while wearing green dresses.

2. Do not speak about nuts.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.