Wotafstig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, annoying pigeon.

Wotafstig created a charm quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wotafstig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wotafstig, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Wotafstig's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Wotafstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain bowed at dawn.

2. You must pray to Wotafstig seven times a day.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

5. Always look after injured hamsters.