Rulsinjad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, witty squirrel.

Rulsinjad created the Virgo Supercluster seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Rulsinjad, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rulsinjad, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rulsinjad's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Rulsinjad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never hurt dogs.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near great tits while wearing purple stockings and balancing six silver spheres on your back.