Tapgesstad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, idiotic dugong.

Tapgesstad created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tapgesstad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tapgesstad, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tapgesstad's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Tapgesstad's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.