Tailruttxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish warg.

Tailruttxuck created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailruttxuck, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tailruttxuck, she will make you grow a tail.

Tailruttxuck's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Tailruttxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Never paint your face violet.

5. Learn six new languages a year.