Dagvensan is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omniscient slug.

Dagvensan created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagvensan, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dagvensan, she will torture you forever.

Dagvensan's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Dagvensan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near porpoises while wearing magenta kilts and balancing seven lead spheres on your head.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

5. Do not drink alcohol.